Consultation

Absolutely amazing experience with Ruffus (Jaime Gama). What took me months to figure out, he helped me understand in less than an hour. Insightful, professional, and truly knowledgeable about relationship dynamics in a way that felt clear and validating.

I honestly wish I had booked sooner. If you’ve been stuck, overwhelmed, or going in circles, do not hesitate. This was one of the most helpful sessions I’ve had.

Highly recommend Ruffus. Already looking forward to my next appointment—hopefully morning time next therapy session  instead of lunch hour 😄

Thank you for all that you do! You have truly game changed my relationships. 

My husband and I have tried several therapists so we can get stronger before the tough times test us.

Whelp- the tough times arrived and someone to give us the right space and tools didn’t. Luckily, throughh his Instagram account, I saw Ruffus offer a space that did feel right for us. His very specific use of language really called to us- it’s so easy to make huge assumptions when riding the righteous wave or drowning in sorrow.

Our one on one with Ruffus gave us a window into a world where we can stop our hurtful patterns and really show our genuine love for each other.

Thank you immensely for your help the other day. My partner and I both appreciated the real-time, practical guidance you provided, balanced with a healthy dose of challenge. Here are three things we felt were really effective:

1. Being asked to eliminate the word “we”

2. The four questions you asked us that led us into a conversation about repair

3. The encouragement to acknowledge each other’s attempts at repair, out loud and regularly

We definitely feel closer after having met with you and we look forward to using the tools you recommended to us, in order to deepen our understanding of ourselves and each other.

Jaime Gama, the PolyKink Therapist, met me where I was with great compassion and skill. I'm new to the intersection of polyamory and kink, and Jamie offered me valuable new ways to think about my relationships: what I might need and how I might ask for it. I left our meeting with tools and concrete steps. I highly recommend him. 

Thank you so much for your time and perspective. It was just what my partner and I needed.

Unfortunately after an extended conversation, I decided I needed to step away from the relationship. This decision was based on the tools you provided, specifically the one with the urgency timeline. While I stood by the timeline for dating other people, my need for love and security in our relationship was immediate. In our continued conversation after our session it seemed we could reach logical agreements and build toward the connection we've wanted. It felt really good and full of hope for a minute. However, my agreement to date other people and have other relationships was conditional on feeling desired, loved, and wanted—a feeling I haven't had from my partner in quite some time. While exploring open-relating has been uncomfortable, my capacity to feel unloved and be undesired by my partner had reached its limit.

We both carried a heavy heart, but through our session and the tools and perspective you provided, we were able to unravel our gap in communication and lack of honesty with ourselves and each other. Ultimately, we made the decision that was best for us as individuals, and I believe that is the love I have been looking for. 

When I re-entered this relationship, I promised myself I would do everything in my power to make it work. You, Jaime, gave me that opportunity.

Even with a broken heart, I feel the most loved I have in a long time. While navigating polyamory has been uncomfortable and scary at times, it opened my eyes to an abundance of love, intimacy, connection and opportunity—not just with others, but with myself—in a way I had never experienced. 

Thank you for your work, the love in your heart, your care, and your perspective. As a business owner with a big mission myself, I truly believe you are doing work that makes the world a better place.  

When I found Ruffus´ videos on instagram I felt so seen. When I was really struggling with feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and jealousy I booked a call.

Ruffus made me feel so seen and understood instantly, and the compassion I felt from them was so comforting. Ruffus helped me to see where I was trying to take care of a future idealized version of myself and not what I am actually experiencing now. They helped me figure out what my needs and wants are that are causing the anxiety and insecurity I was feeling.

Ruffus inspired me to take care of myself and ask for what I am wanting in my relationship and since I have done that I have really felt completely better. I feel secure in my relationship, I don't feel the same anxiety I was feeling before.

The frameworks Ruffus shared to help me understand what I was feeling and how I could care for myself instead of just trying to push through the pain changed how I am showing up for myself and in my relationship and I am so grateful. I thought before our meeting that polyamory would be hurtful and so hard for a really long time until someday I just became comfortable with it. Now that I know what my needs and wants are and how to ask for them, it doesn't feel painful anymore.

I am so grateful I got this support from Ruffus. I can't recommend it enough especially for anyone who is suffering in their experiences in their relationships. 

It was good to speak with you and you helped really give me clarity about why it was that I was looking for answers I couldn't find. I have been dating since then and meeting new people and I don't really care what happens with him. I think if anything I will tell him he can contact me when he is a person he would be happy for his own child to date. I think that will be a little clearer for him hopefully. But either way, I'm doing a lot better and looking forward to finding someone who can respect me and treat me the way I deserve to be treated.