Jaime Gama (Ruffus)/The Polykink Guide to Secure Attachment in Polyamory

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The Polykink Guide to Secure Attachment in Polyamory

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Learn to build secure attachment with more than one person at a time. The Polykink Guide to Secure Attachment in Polyamory walks you through the five points of poly security: presence, delight, attunement, rituals, and turning toward conflict. With real stories, TPKTips for non-monogamous bonds, and "Now it's your turn" exercises. Not the guide that exists: it teaches you to build it, not just understand it.

Contents

The Polykink Guide to Secure Attachment in Polyamory

Learn to build secure attachment with more than one person at a time.

The Polykink Guide to Secure Attachment in Polyamory: the five points of poly security, with real stories, TPKTips, and exercises to make it yours.

Secure attachment isn't "I'm cured now," or no longer feeling jealousy, or radiating divine light. It's being able to trust that your bond will tend to your needs for affection, and knowing how to regulate yourself when they're not available, while you reconnect. And that can be built even when you're not anyone's only person.

Inside you'll find:

  • The difference between an attachment relationship and a secure connection (anchor, satellite, comet), so you stop demanding of a bond what it was never designed to carry.

  • The five points of poly security, one by one: presence and object constancy, delight without exclusivity, attunement without yanking you out of what you feel, rituals that anchor you, and how to turn toward conflict with your backpack.

  • Real stories (Marco, Ricardo, long distance, object constancy) as examples.

  • TPKTips made for polyamorous and non-monogamous bonds.

  • A "Now it's your turn" page after each part.

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