The PolyKink Guide to Relationship Agreements — Free Preview
Not sure it's for you? Start here. This free preview gives you the complete first part of The PolyKink Guide to Relationship Agreements, so you can feel the approach before you commit.
Inside the preview:
The real difference between a rule and an agreement (and why it changes everything)
Why rules come from fear, and what an agreement moves you toward instead
The dog-and-leash and burger-vs-sushi examples that make it click
The full introduction and the author's approach
It's the real thing, not a teaser: Part One of four. If it lands, the full guide continues with the six most common mistakes, commitment and emotional responsibility, and how to build agreements you'll keep.
Two ways to keep going: join the community before September 2026 and get the full guide free, or grab the full guide on its own.
Delivered as a PDF you can print or read on any device.
The PolyKink Guide to Relationship Agreements
How to build the ones you'll actually keep.
Most "rules" in a relationship come from fear, and quietly ask you to control someone else so you feel okay. Agreements do the opposite: they start from a need and move you toward what you actually want. This guide is about that difference, and about building agreements you'll actually keep.
Not a guide about polyamory, open relationships, or monogamy. A guide about ethical relationships, written in the warm, direct voice of The PolyKink Therapist.
Inside:
Rules vs. agreements: why one guards you from what you don't want, and the other carries you toward what you do
The six most common mistakes people make with agreements (based on emotions, in the plural, chasing reciprocity, re-signing the same broken one, treating them as permanent, negotiating from the minimum)
What commitment and emotional responsibility actually mean, and why most complaints about a "situationship" point back to us
How to set up a container for the conversation (temporal, physical, psychological, emotional) so it stays useful instead of turning into a fight
How to find the need under the ask, make room for "no," negotiate from your ideal, and repair instead of punish
With a PolyKink Tip on every mistake (specific to non-monogamy and kink), reflection questions throughout, and a "Now it's your turn" section to write your own.
Rules come from fear; agreements come from a need. You can build the relationship you want. But do you want to?
Delivered as a fillable PDF you can print or write in digitally.